At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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