he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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