She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
