I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
