Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
