dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
My bed smells like the plague
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
