i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
