This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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