I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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