Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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