The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
