We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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