so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize