Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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