just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
