i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
