New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
