Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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