Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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