you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
the room spins SO much faster in panama
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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