I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
