3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
