I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
