Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
