I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
