I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
