I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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