Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Say something about gay babies.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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