I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
do herpes really smell.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Randomize
