Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
