Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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