can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
