my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
