already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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