Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
