I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
