Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
