The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
