i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
