i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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