My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
