Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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