yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
