just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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