ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
