He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
