its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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