The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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