What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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