eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
