you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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