Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
