Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
