i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
